"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them"

When I was a teenager I was in serious period pain,

It made me yell out, and drove me insane,

I went to the Jessop Hospital, they found I had not one womb but two,

Oh no for babies that never would do,

Even worse the blood from the left womb could not get out,

Causing pain that made me scream and shout out,

After numerous surgeries, the left womb had to be taken away,

For me the day of that surgery, was the very worst day,

As a woman I felt like I was no good,

Because I couldn’t have a baby, like a woman should,

Now I realise everyone deserves loving, it’s what they’re worth,

And its precious little to do, with whether they can give birth.

I went on the pill non-stop, to get through my GCSEs,

And I got the result of 8As and 2Bs,

At school me, Sara and Eleanor Waite,

Called each other, best mate,

Sara and I both fancied the chemistry teacher,

In our lesson plans, Chemistry therefore did feature,

Sara, like me, is as mad as a hatter,

And often at break we did chatter.

I sailed through my A ‘levels, then went off to Sussex University,

Where I studied German and Chemistry,

Sussex University is near Brighton,

Where the boys I did frighten,

Apart from Tom, Andy and Dave,

With whom I often did misbehave,

We were best friends and we surreally got on,

I really enjoyed hanging with Andy, Dave and Tom,

I worked hard and got a 1st, top marks,

I wish I’d believed in myself from the start.

MS started at 21,

Immediately I knew what was wrong,

This is because of a book I’d read,

A book that subsequently would fill me with dread,

In the book this vicar develops MS,

The author of the book signed it, god bless,

Multiple Sclerosis, that I didn’t want blessing with,

Who would have thought I also had so much to give?

The book was ‘A smile on the face of god’,

I felt very alone, and on my tod.

I was diagnosed with MS after university,

My immediate thought was oh why me?

In order to cope I started smoking and drinking,

And my mind was full of negative thinking,

I smoked Cannabis and drank wine,

To pretend to the world I was fine,

But MS was continuing to progress,

And I was feeling severely depressed,

I saw a wheelchair and it filled me with dread,

I said to my brother, “use that I’d rather be dead”,

I hid my MS, told people I was drunk,

That shows how low I had sunk,

I think I was scared of friends running away,

But of course the best friends stay come what may.

When I did my skydive I was all over the press,

I came out and told the world I had MS,

Old schoolteachers, school friends and my family,

All went ahead and sponsored me,

I managed to raise over two grand,

Not bad for someone could hardly stand,

I also met new people I didn’t know before,

They would become good friends I now adore.

One important contact was the Singleton family,

Steven was the saxophonist from ABC,

Steven started taking me out to the swimming pool,

He was always larking about and playing the fool,

Then Sarah his sister wrote me a letter,

She advised; change your diet for the better,

I saw Brian Hampton the great nutritionist,

Who told me what foods to eat, and which foods to miss.

I followed my diet to the letter,

And within a month, started feeling better,

I was on a diet so strict, I diluted water,

It worked, my immune system started behaving like it oughta’,

Once a week on my hooray day,

With my strict diet I could somewhat play,

I only broke diet, on that one day,

For more days than this I would heavily pay.

Through the Skydive publicity I met Mr Steve Wright,

It wasn’t love, more like laugh at first sight,

He sold me my mobility scooter that’s how we met,

A moment in time we’ll never forget.

He took me on holiday to the sunshine state,

It was amazing in paradise, it felt like fate,

Steve had a house on Cudjoe Key,

Just the right size for him and me,

That’s how we could go for so many weeks,

Steve and I fell in love; it felt like it was for keeps,

The sunshine and swimming helped me recover,

I was happy in paradise, with my new lover,

We started to go for longer and longer every year,

I was living my life and facing my fear,

My brother came to Florida and on the sundeck was sat

Steve was bashing Coconuts and said, do you want a Coconut Matt?

After that the name Coco, just stuck,

And when Marcus was born, became Uncle CoCoNut.

Steve wanted a webpage, so I learnt web design,

I built him a page, and put the scooter business online,

The webpage took off and we made plenty of money,

And I spent my life laughing as Steve was so funny,

I made a deal with Steve on the webpage, regarding commission,

I was so happy and busy working, I found myself in remission,

I came of my benefits, and became self employed

When the webpage took off, I was overjoyed,

I did the webpage because I trusted my gut,

The webpage success was in part good luck,

I took the gamble on myself, yes I took the bet,

But they do say the harder you work, the luckier you get.

I did his page by learning html,

Then I did one for me as well,

My MS webpage is www.livingwithms.co.uk,

On taking charge of MS, I had plenty to say,

The main topics were Diet, Nutrition, Swimming and Sunshine,

These tools helped me reclaim life as mine,

I brainwashed my brain with positive thinking,

I faced my realities, and stopped smoking and drinking.

Steve not wanting kids was a big relief,

Because for me kids could only mean grief,

I stabilised MS through putting myself first,

So with a baby I could only see MS getting worse,

I stabilised through, good sleep and avoiding stress,

With a baby, you will stress more and sleep less.

We went to Las Vegas and down the strip,

It truly was an amazing trip,

We saw the casinos, classic cars and more than one show,

I gambled a coin; yes I had a go,

On the way back my scooter went slower and slower,

Because its battery charge was getting lower and lower,

Then it got worse and the batteries went flat,

So Steve had to push me the two miles back,

We went out from Las Vegas; we hired a camper van,

This took us, all the way to the Grand Canyon,

We went to Chelly Canyon, Bryce Canyon and many other,

I felt like Bryce Canyon was The Grand Canyons older brother,

We had to wear all our clothes one night,

Next day Monument Valley was pearly white,

This was because it was covered in snow,

The place really was truly aglow,

I think if I had to choose, Bryce Canyon was the best,

But I then change my mind, when I think of the rest.

I went to Rio de Janeiro in Brazil,

And flew round Jesus, oh what a thrill,

At times this journey felt out of reach,

But not when we went onto Copacabana Beach,

Suddenly a wave came that caught us with spray,

Steve noticed a man, very fast, walking away,

He ran after the man and got our cameras back,

Then took a free water and gave him a smack,

In getting them back, Steve worked on a hunch,

After it all, an onlooker said Good Punch,

As for me I just felt greatly relieved,

Because our cameras he had retrieved.

On our way to Machu Picchu,

We went to altitude in Peru,

There, we had to chew on coca leaves,

Because altitude sickness it relieves,

That night I said the noise it must go,

So Steve crossed the room and closed the window,

But in the night we woke gasping for breath,

This was because there was no Oxygen left,

Steve then opened the window to let the Oxygen in,

That was the priority, over any noise or din.

To get to Machu Picchu we got up pre-dawn,

It was totally black, no sign of the morn,

So in the end I got only 2 hours sleep,

This made me quite grumpy and want to weep,

It was 10am when we got there,

But it was totally inaccessible in a wheelchair,

A Peruvian man helped by carrying me round,

The whole of Machu Picchu did me astound,

This Peruvian man, he was called Frank,

And after he carried me, him I did thank,

We also gave him a really big tip,

Because I never once fell from his grip.

Next to Iguassu Falls in Argentina and Brazil,

I either hated it totally or thought it was brill,

Wow, the heat there was beyond belief,

So when the waterfall spray hit us it was a relief,

In that moment I went from hell to heaven,

I jumped from cloud zero to cloud eleven.

In 2005 my period was late,

I thought, oh I've mistook my date,

But then I started being sick,

And craving sausage, bacon, beans and chips,

Then the next day I drove to McDonalds in the rain,

I was on a mega healthy diet, so this was a little insane,

But the baby had phoned womb service and ordered some fat,

So there I was in McDonalds eating fries and a big mac,

Realising I was pregnant, I kept asking Steve to get me a test,

He did in the end, to stop me being a pest,

If pregnancy was a chess move it would be checkmate,

I felt backed into a corner, from which there was no escape,

Pregnancy made me want to run a mile,

So in order to cope I went into denial,

Around this time there was a great deal of synchronicity,

I told my grandad, he said, babies meant to be,

Synchronicity is something beyond coincidence,

When the unlikely kind of make sense.

There was our baby on the very first scan,

I said “I can’t have a baby”, Steve said “yes you can”,

Steve said “it’s a boy and all will be well”,

I wanted the pregnancy secret; Steve just had to tell,

Little miss I know my body, had got it wrong,

No not 4 weeks pregnant, I was 8 weeks gone,

During my pregnancy I had 11 scans,

Steve came to 8; he was a good man,

The doctor said if I got to 32 weeks, the baby was home and dry,

When I got there I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry,

Laugh because, wow, my baby would make it,

Or cry because, the thought of a baby, I just couldn’t take it.

On the day Marcus was born, I went to a baby stall,

And I came away with nothing at all,

When I got to the car, tears did flow,

So Steve went back and bought, two baby grows,

Good job he did because at the end of that same day,

Marcus was born; our son was on his way.

At 36 weeks my waters broke,

Was I having a baby or was this a joke?

We went to the hospital; they put me on a machine,

I didn't feel pain, or cause a scene,

The monitor showed I was having contractions,

But in my body I felt little reaction,

But then the discomfort got a bit worse,

So I pressed the buzzer and called a nurse,

The doctor came and said I was 6cm dilated,

Was I happy, no I didn’t feel elated,

The doctor said the feet are on the way,

For once in my life, I had nothing to say.

They whisked me off for a caesarean section,

The memory of which I feel little affection,

I went to surgery and was made numb from the waist down,

Steve came in wearing a white mask and green gown,

There was a lot of tugging and pulling in my tummy,

It was bizarre; it felt weird and funny,

Then before I knew it there was a baby on my chest,

And then immediately they put him on my breast,

Yes that’s right it was a boy,

But at the time I didn’t really feel much joy,

He was 4 weeks early a little premature,

For me it what a shock, I’d never held a baby before,

That week was the longest day of my life,

Psychologically I felt I’d been stabbed by a knife,

I saw a Psychologist because I felt very alone,

He said, I was just out of my comfort zone.

Around this time, Steve’s Uncle Marcus died and moved on,

So our Marcus was born and another Marcus was gone,

Marcus was also Steve’s second name,

So any other choice was rather lame,

I also had a Marcus in my family,

So the name fitted well into my family tree.

When we got home we did shifts at night,

Sharing the task made Marcus a delight,

Marcus was an easy baby he came off the top shelf,

We couldn’t plan Marcus, he planned himself,

Marcus’s birth made quite a stir,

He appeared on Look North and Calendar,

He even made the Daily Mail,

I bought many copies when it was on sale,

The story became a magazine spread,

Throughout the land it was read.

When Marcus was a baby he met a girl called Tigga,

Now in Marcus’s world she’s a major figure,

She was in shop mobility helping out her dad,

When she met Marcus, which made her so glad,

What she feels for Marcus is pure love,

She calls him her little bruv,

Like me she tandem skydived out of a plane,

Maybe Marcus loves those who are insane,

But when she was about to jump, she had a panic attack,

But they still jumped anyway, she’s thankful for that.

We wanted help with Marcus when we went away,

To help look after Marcus night and day,

She immediately said “I want to do that”,

Soon she was sunbathing, as she Marcus babysat,

Yes, before she knew it she was in the Florida Keys,

And she settled in there with great ease,

In Florida was sunshine, pelicans, key deer and palm trees,

Key West and Marathon where we often ate Chinese,

When swimming with dolphins she did scream,

For this fulfilled her lifelong dream,

Tigga is a remarkable lady,

I’m so luck she fell in love with my baby,

She is beautiful, simply stunning,

She came out to the keys five years running,

At the end of our trip, we went to Orlando,

This was where she was born to go,

I had to go on all the rides, so they didn’t have to queue,

I was really terrified, but had to make do.

Believe it or not I’ve touched the moon,

Now you think I’m crazy or a lune,

At the Kennedy Space Centre, I touched moon rock,

That’s a memory I think of a lot,

I swam with the Manatees in Crystal River,

The water was cold it made me shiver,

In the water they look like a ww2 bomb,

The swim was half an hour, not for too long,

We had to take care with these docile sea cows,

When they are asleep, waking them no one allows.

We went to Angel Falls, where Steve proposed to me,

But he didn’t do it down on one knee,

No Steve recorded a video track,

Which he then wanted to show me back,

I said no, save the battery,

But eventually he showed it to me,

I was stunned, shocked, gobsmacked and speechless,

Although I did somehow manage to say yes, yes, yes.

We then went to the equator in Ecuador,

It was place we couldn’t ignore,

There everyone weighs two pounds less,

It wasn’t the diet, I must confess,

On one side of the line the water went down anti-clockwise,

And on the other, the opposite, to my surprise.

We went onto Galapagos and saw Penguins, Sea Lions and Seals,

The wildlife was amazing, the photographs unreal.

We arrived at Easter Island on Christmas Eve,

Making Christmas at Easter I do believe,

Easter Island is in the Pacific,

Bouncing around the island, was pretty horrific,

But it was the only way to see the figurehead Moai,

That was a sight I did enjoy.

When Marcus was two, Steve and I tied the knot,

When I had pneumonia I promptly forgot,

I said to Steve we’re not married, with great indignance,

When I recovered I apologised for my ignorance,

When we got married I scootered down the aisle,

So I truly did arrive in style,

I was in such a hurry; I left my dad behind,

Thankfully he didn’t seem to mind.

At the time of our wedding, we bought a nine foot dinosaur,

In our garden we have a Vaciloraptor,

We got it as the bride needed something old,

For buying it we're mad, or so we’ve been told.

I went to Mexico on honeymoon,

And went on the beach at Cancun,

We also went to Teotihuacan, Mexico,

Where there is an amazing echo,

So when Steve did a loud clap,

The sound came rebounding back,

Steve being Steve also made his unique bird cry,

This made everyone, look up at the sky.

We went to Mexico City, where there’s lots to do,

And where we chose to visit the zoo,

We went to a site called Chichen Itza,

American tourists call it Cheesy Pizza.

We also went to Acapulco,

Where the divers in the sea do go,

Off the Cliffs they do dive,

I’m amazed that they survive,

They dive right in, going head first,

I could think of nothing worse,

I’m a skydiver but to me they’re crazy,

To do that no one could persuade me.

My Norwegian best friends called Ann-Cathrin,

I met her in Freiburg, she’s as close as kin,

When we met she said a friendly hello,

Then off to her room we did go,

Once there we had a Tasse Tee,

I met Ann-Cathrin on my first Freiburg day,

She’s a brilliant friend, I was lucky to meet,

A better friend I could not seek.

Later we met up with her in Berlin,

When Marcus had just started, toddlin’.

In Berlin we also met with Marie-Louise,

She understood Steve, about which I was pleased,

Because she was like an auntie to me,

Someone I counted as close as family,

Even more importantly, she met Marcus our son,

We all got on well and lots of fun.

To Hitler’s death bunker, Steve loved goin’,

But I preferred Marie-Louise and her generous lovin’.

One time we went on holiday to Egypt,

And I really didn't, like it one bit,

Because we went there in the height of summer,

As destinations go it's not a front runner,

Everyone seemed to be after a tip,

And it seemed they'd do anything for it,

We got the feeling they’d sell their own mother'

Just to get a tip, and then order another,

The problem was it was too damn hot,

And I must stay cool no matter what.

We went around Cairo in a horse and cart,

We saw the pyramids, a work of great art,

In the museum we went to see Tutankhamun,

Or rather should I say, his sarcophagus tomb,

Then we went to the Valley of the Kings,

Steve got out of the taxi and quickly nipped in,

And for me to go there was no way,

Because it was an extremely hot day,

I couldn’t break my golden rule,

That, at all times, I must stay cool,

So I stayed in the taxi with Mr Chips,

While Steve with the heat got to grips.

The heat was even worse in Luxor,

I really couldn’t take any more,

All I needed was my hotel room,

Air-conditioning couldn’t come a moment too soon,

I was just desperate to cool down,

To make me more bearable to be around.

In the last few years before he died,

Dad had a stroke and more often cried,

He didn’t know me or my brother,

The one person he knew was my mother,

He often said in the last years of his life,

To my mum, you are my wife,

It was a bit annoying because he said it all the time,

But now it’s a treasured memory, in her mind.

My grandma made it to 94;

My grandad then 91, lived for 10 years more,

He learnt how to cook and run a home,

And adjusted to living on his own,

This took a good deal of inner strength,

When he talked about god, he could go on at length,

My grandad heard poems spoken in the night,

Something that gave his life great insight,

He wrote the poems down and published two books,

They’re really worth reading, worth taking a good look,

He ate mouldy damsons and food past its sell by date,

He didn’t worry about it; he just got on and ate,

He lost his car keys every 6 months without fail,

He saw god everywhere, even in junk mail.

Steve cooked and cleaned for our family,

He had to get up at night, to turn me,

Things have changed now I sleep on a bean bag,

I have less leg spasm for that I am glad,

Now I can generally sleep at night,

I usually sleep through alright,

Sleeping pills knock you out and give you a rest,

But if you can get real sleep it’s the best.

MS got worse and I had no energy to drink or eat,

I was staring in the face of defeat,

Steve got palpitations caring for me,

And once ended up in A&E,

He thought he was having a heart attack,

But he wasn’t, thank goodness for that.

I went below 6 stone; I was a light as a feather,

They put the peg in my stomach, now I just eat for pleasure,

Fortisip feeds saved my life,

But there's still a lot of trouble and strife,

I’ve made it back up to 8 stone,

And with my brother caring for me I don’t feel so alone,

Steve has built me a room downstairs,

This shows that he really cares.

I got pneumonia not once but twice,

It is an understatement to say, it was not very nice,

I hallucinated that Marcus went to a club,

How mad my brain, good heavens above,

And at the club he had three cups of tea,

Yes, there was something very wrong with me,

Fortunately I recovered and survived,

And I’m glad to still be alive.

Because I got pneumonia funding was very fair,

Now they want to cut it, they don’t care,

The NHS is being crippled by Jeremy Hunt,

The Secretary of Health, is an utter c**t,

My brother & Steve fought to get funding for me,

It shows I have an amazing family.

My childhood cat Jim, caught loads of mice,

My brother job was careers advice,

He gave the job up to look after me,

Please test him for insanity,

My brother is my hero, he’s my rock,

I’m very lucky such a brother to have got,

From the airport he picks up my folk,

One time Marcus screamed hello Uncle Coke,

I’m surprised he wasn’t arrested and put in front of a jury,

But it’s funny now and makes for a good story.

A couple of friends are Carol & Eddy,

I phone them every week, when I am ready,

Another friend is called Liz,

To her place, I often do whizz,

I go there in my WAV, Fiat Doblo,

Which I bought a few years ago.

As there’s no action down below,

A lot of men would simply go,

But I’m happy to say my husband didn’t leave,

That was not the way for my Steve,

I’ve since given Steve a hall pass,

So he can have sex if he meets a nice lass.

He went to Thailand and met a girl called Wan,

In a bar in Bangkok, that’s how it began,

After two and a half years, they did split,

Steve dumped her for talking to him like shit,

I called her my surrogate vagina, when being daft,

It’s my way of coping, having giggled and laughed,

Also I didn’t want Steve to be a wanker,

But as for Wan, I didn’t want to thank her.

I don’t bother with gin but I like my tonic,

For a girl who doesn’t drink it’s somewhat ironic,

I’m with my carers from 9.40 to half past 6,

I feel very lucky and thrilled to bits,

Then at 10 in Yvonne does creep,

And an hour later I go to sleep,

My carers are my brother, Verney, Yvonne and Tash,

And sometimes at the café I have bangers and mash.

The local café is run by Pat,

And once a week at the café I’m sat,

Pat let me put my press cuttings on the wall,

Where they could be read, by one and all,

I also put up 2 parrots, the café sign and some fake flowers,

This café is so popular some people go there for hours.

One day I went to the café, I then said t’rah,

On the way home my leg hit a steel bar,

Paramedics came out but I wish they hadn’t spoken,

Because they maintained my leg wasn’t broken;

All I know is it hurt like hell,

And day by day my leg did swell,

A doctor came out and said my ankle was sprained,

I trusted her, because she was trained,

My leg was broken but nobody could tell,

I felt sick to my stomach and very unwell,

The only one to have diagnosed it reyt,

Was my brother who saw the bones break.

Then Sophie my peg nurse took one look at my leg,

You need an x-ray, that’s what she said,

6 days and 6 nights of spasming pain,

Until the x-ray a double fracture made plain,

I was lucky the bone didn’t punch through the skin,

That could really have done me in,

If only that steel bar my leg hadn’t stuck,

I wouldn’t feel, I’d been run over by a truck,

My broken leg was spasming for far long,

But it has taught me I’m incredibly strong.

Now it’s painful in a purple pot,

But in bed I’m not going to rot,

So whatever you do don’t wish me luck,

And I’ll try my best to never to give up,

Marcus and Tasha’s son Trevonte are best bro’s,

They’ll be friends for life that much I just knows.

I’ve never understood why ‘sick’ is cool,

For me that was the thinking of a fool,

But Marcus said “I’m a cool sick mum”,

Now being ‘sick’ bangs my drum,

Yes, Marcus says I’m a great mum, I’d be happy with good,

Without him could I cope?, no I don’t think I would,

Marcus is blond, cute, happy and clever,

Do I regret having him, no, no way, not ever,

Looking back Marcus didn’t come, a moment too soon,

And when Marcus arrived, Steve was over the moon,

He said to Marcus, you can be anything you want son, yes you can,

You can be gay, straight or bi-sexual just not a Sheffield United fan,

So in my house it’s all Sheffield Wednesday,

It’s up the Owls all the way,

It’s amazing, Marcus turned out really fine,

I still can never believe he’s really mine,

Now he’s already made the of aged ten,

To all our jokes, my brother groans, oh no not again.

My favourite food is Shepard’s Pie,

It’s as good as the sky is high,

On Tuesday I smile when Carol walks through the door,

She does my nails, she’s my sister-in-law,

I enjoy seeing my mum; to me she gave birth,

And we both love to listen to John Shuttleworth.

At a my funeral I want nobody to have cried,

Because I’ve had a blast one hell of a ride,

But because of Marcus, I don’t want to leave,

And I’m still quite fond of Steve.

Sylvia Wright

Sheffield

March 2016

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